After Dinner
by Breathe Easy
Summary: Three years after the war, certain things went haywire... (Some cursing, nothing to worry about) HUMOR mostly.


After Dinner  
  
  
  
Seifer stood yet again on the top of the stairs that led from the elevator to the ground level. Despite all the trouble making and such, he finally became a SEED. Jamming his shoulder against the marble wall, he took a gander at the latest recruits, snickering slightly. It's been three years ever since the Witch War, as it has become so affectionately called by the students. He glanced at a female passer-by, keeping his eyes on the gleaming tan legs. Suddenly, he saw a different pair of legs in front of him. 'Oh God.'  
  
"Hey, Seifer! What's up?" "Hey Selphie." He turned his glance away from her as she tried to look at him with her silly blonde grin. He kept on looking a different way while she continued to try and get into his line of view. Finally he glared and shoved his face into hers, "What?" She shrugged, "Nothing," and walked off. He gave a slight growl and continued to stare down the newest members. They were all like chipmunks, so easy to scare. He smiled and found more amusement when he saw a tough-guy Zell strutting by.  
  
"Hey, Chicken Wuss."  
  
"Whadya call me, you damned lard-for-brains?"  
  
"Gee, I THOUGHT you heard me.let me say it louder. HEY, CHICKEN WUSS!"  
  
He heard with satisfaction snickers coming from others. But he was snickering no more when he saw eighteen big white asses pressed against a few windows. Who else did they belong to? Irvine and the sniper club. They must have been drinking again. His anger began to boil when he heard Zell bust up with laughter. Unexpectedly, he was disarmed when he saw Rinoa walk by, staring. "What are they trying to do? Cool off their bottoms?" He just stared at her as she walked by, "Well it is almost one hundred outside." She turned to him, "Been outside lately? Gah!" She pretends to fan herself with her hand as she walks off.  
  
How can she be so CASUAL like that? He shook his head as the 'Mooners' pounded on the window before shutting the blinds with laughter. He shrugged and decided to try and get some extra training done in the Training Center. Heh, where else is there to go other than outside? It's too hot outside so in there sounds just fine.  
  
In the Training Center, whom else would he find there other than Squall? He growled as he stepped in. Squall was in the process of fighting one of those REALLY ugly living plant things.Next thing Seifer knew, he was being attacked (erm sorta). "AAHHH! It's a SEIFER!" He was barely able to block an on coming blade, which didn't even touch his own. Squall gave a ghost of a smile and walked off. Squall recently learned to joke fairly well. That fucking bastard, I swear some day I'll. he blinked as he saw a dancing Selphie go by. He smiled a rare smile and watched her go on her way. She was somewhat annoying, but Lord knows she's so cute when she does her thing. WHY IN THE WORLD WAS SHE DANCING IN THE TRAINING CENTER?!  
  
Next thing Seifer knew, he was tackled to the ground by an ugly plant thing. That was the last thing he remembered. The next thing he knew, he was in the infirmary with the doctor leaning over him. "You need to stop looking fuzzy," he murmured. The doctor grinned, "Ah, the medicines must be kicking in.In a minute here you'll be feeling great.Three, two, one." Seifer blinked as the fuzzy appearance disappeared. "You can time that?" Seifer asked as he pulled a disgusting bandage from his forehead, revealing a bit of a cut. She turned and glared at him, "What do you think?" He, in turn, glared back.  
  
Finally, he let a sigh escape his lips as he relaxed slowly back down on the comfortable bed stretch for a rest, still feeling quite disoriented. The second time he awoke, he found a blurry, yet familiar figure in front of his face. He also found he was much more comfortable than before. Selphie had his head in her lap as she petted him and looked down gleefully upon his face. He blinked and grinned lazily. He felt drunk, "Good morning, Señorita. How are we doing today?" She snickered and patted him. "It's going to take a few minutes to fix hang on." She waited patiently. He waited patiently. The drunken feeling left him and he sighed. "What happened?" She smiled, "You were too busy day dreaming about something and you were attacked by a monster. I killed it and got you here." He gave a rare smile, "Sweet Selphie, thank you, dear. But one more thing.You didn't touch my blade did you?" She shook her head; "No." He sighed. She spoke up again; "Squall was a dear and brought it in with me." He blinked and jumped up, "WHAT?" She watched him waver a bit and smiled, "You got up too fast."  
  
"I KNOW!"  
  
"You don't have to yell."  
  
"I'm NOT!"  
  
"What do you call THIS?"  
  
He blinked and shrugged, "Talking loudly." He snickered as he watched her sigh. Finally, his gloved hand grabbed the leather handle of his blade and took off down the halls, looking to challenge Squall. To his dismay, he found Selphie following him and Irvine kneeling in front of Rinoa. Rinoa had a type of surprised and confused look on her face. Seifer walked over and looked at Irvine, "The HELL are you doing to her?" Irvine replied in a angry surprising voice, "Can't you wait? I'm just trying to pay her for last night."  
  
".."  
  
Seifer blinked and looked at him with a glare, "I can't believe you fucked her." Irvine blinked and stood, "I didn't.She bought me dinner when she was out with Squall.Nasty bastard," and walked off. Rinoa just stood staring at Seifer and Selphie, who was cracking up in the background, for a moment until Rinoa spoke lithely, "What's with the Blade?" He hid it quickly behind his back. "Nothing." Another female voice popped in, "BLADE?" He spun around to see Fujin and Rajin strolling in. Ah, his reliable posse. Of course. "Yeah, why ya carryin' a blade around?" Rajin scratched his head as he spoke. Seifer gave a howl of a growl and Selphie stopped her dancing and giggling. The room fell silent. She looked at everyone, "Wasn't me."  
  
Seifer sighed and growled loud enough for everyone to hear, "I'll carry my God-damn blade around if I want to. I don't need a reason." To be truthful, he had forgotten the real reason the moment Irvine said he was trying to pay Rinoa. And he thought Zell was supposed to be the crazy one. In the end, Irvine was stupid and Zell turned out to be fairly smart. Hmph. Smart jock. Very uncommon.  
  
Finally, he stormed out of the room into the courtyard, watching the clouds go by as they flew to another Garden for a tournament. He heard something crack. A quick spin around and stop of his blade sent Selphie stepping far back. She glared, "You have awesome trust issues that need to be resolved." He growled and turned back around, leaning on the railing, "So what?" She leaned on the rail with him, "Sooo you need to fix that. You can't go around all your life thinking that every person you meet will someday let you down.I barely remember doing that my first few days in the Garden. I was scared." He sighed and nodded, "You too, huh?" She nodded back, "Yep. So I didn't trust anyone until Quistis. She helped me with literally everything. Not to mention she herself had to work her ass off to earn my trust. But she never gave up."  
  
He smiled and looked at her, "I enjoyed the story, I really did.But I hate to sound mean when I ask what the point of it was." He gave a silly grin, something he hasn't done in quite a long time. She laughed and elbowed him lightly; "The point was that you need to start trusting people more. I was the one who went back to get your blade after hiding it to take you to the infirmary. I also polished it and had it sharpened. I just told you Squall took it because I wanted to see how you would react." He watched as she beamed with pride. He turned his back to the railing and clapped, "Well done, Selphie." She took fake bows. She continues her speech. "When you two were drunk, you both had a really good time TOGETHER. We even shot the whole thing on video. I remember showing it to you." He blinked, "I kind of fell asleep." She shrugged, "You'll see it later. There's nothing big about it. You saved his life numerous times and vice versa. Not once have either of you forgotten to repay one another." She leaned against his chest with her elbows up to look at him, "So you need to start with someone."  
  
"Why not you?" He smiled. He found himself much more relaxed around her, and she was such a flirt, it would be a crime to say no. "Selphie.Hmph. Never done this before. Usually just fucked a girl and went on, but." He grinned at her glare, "What I meant was.Care for dinner? You know.at the nearest town.we can take one of the cars." She thinks and he smiles, "I'll invite Rinoa and Squall.After all, they are married and they won't care." She claps and jumps up and down. His hands rested on her shoulders. He rolled his eyes. 'Oh, I'm getting soft.'  
  
"After dinner, there's always the movies or the clubs." She smiles, "I wouldn't mind either one." He grinned and hesitated for only a moment before sliding his arms around her. He felt her body eventually gravitate toward him, finding it odd and rather comforting. "How SWEET!" And Quistis had to ruin it all. He watched her with a scowl as she ran up and hugged herself, "Oh my Lord, this is great! I could jump with joy." Seifer glowered, "Please don't." She ignored him. "Selphie, what a dear! It's about time Seifer got someone who could soften him up" "HEY!" Seifer blinked and opened his mouth as if she insulted him. She grinned, turned like a soldier, and walked off like a preppy tramp. He sighed and shook his head. Selphie turned and grinned.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Seifer sat at dinner, contemplating why everyone was married. Fujin married Rajin (ugh kind of like incest, huh?), Squall married Rinoa, Irvine married Nadia, and Zell married that one pony-tailed chick. He thought her name was Anglive. He shrugged. It could be 'bitch' for all he cared. His eyes trailed to Selphie who was chatting with the waiter about something to eat. Rinoa and Squall were sitting in the corner, making-out. He blinked as some odd noises came from them. Then he watched as Rinoa stuck her hand under the table and Squall jump. He saw enough and decided to turn away. "You done ordering, Selphie?" She smiled and nodded. He grinned and said he would have the chicken special. The waiter bowed and took the menus. He took an odd glance at the other couple before rubbing his eyes and saying something about sock-la-blue. Seifer blinked. 'What the fuck is a sock-la- blue?'  
  
Selphie and Seifer just talked and joked the whole night, glancing over at Squall and Rinoa every once and awhile. Everyone got the hint, even the waiter, except for Rinoa and Squall. He shook his head and grinned as Selphie giggled. She did have a beautiful laugh. The waiter came back with the orders and set them down. Slowly, the waiter bent down, "Are those two still going at it? My wife and I go at it three times a week and even we don't take the long." Seifer leaned over and chuckled, "The guy over there likes to tease and the girl is kinky.I know from experience." Selphie kicked him in the chin hard under the table. He grunted and made a face as the waiter left, laughing.  
  
"Gee.thanks, Selphie. Now I know you really DO care." He sighed as she piped up; "You're welcome." Seifer sighed and looked around, "This whole place is a circus." He was somewhat right too. In the right corner of a bar was yoga.in another, a rodeo, and in the last corner, it had a big curtain and a lighted sign that said "Sex Lounge." Why didn't Squall and Rinoa just go there? But of course she already had three kids.Seifer shivered.  
  
Selphie smiled as she looked to a waiter who brought their food. Squall opened one eye momentarily to look at the food, disconnect the kiss, take a few bites and give a few more to Rinoa before locking lips and continuing the whole tournament of who could make the other come first. Seifer and Selphie just looked at each other before taking their food and MOVING.  
  
Selphie looked at her food and tilted her head, poking it with her fork and knife, trying to see if it will come alive. Seifer just stared at her before finally saying something, "What did you order?" He chuckled a bit as she replied, "I don't know. I just ordered it cause it looked cool and had a cool name." He smiled and leaned a bit closer, "That, in English, is 'lamb brains' in a fancy way of saying it." He laughed as she yipped and pushed her plate away as quickly as possible, knocking over her water glass. Seifer saved the wineglass, of course.  
  
"Yech! Ew ew ew ew ew.." She continued as she stood and rushed out of the restaurant. Seifer had to crack up laughing before leaving Squall and Rinoa alone to follow his date. He found her standing on a corner, bawling. He blinked. He had never seen her cry before. In a round about way, he kind of strolled, part sneaked over there. "Selphie.You.gonna be alright?" She shook her head and cried, "NOOOOOooo!!!" He slowly, and VERY carefully, slipped his arm around her. Seifer was satisfied and heartbroken. He didn't even know why she was crying, much less would he understand. But, he decided to ask anyway. "What's wrong, Sweet Selphie?" She sniffled and spoke unevenly, "I-I-I-I-I." "You.what?" "I LOOKED STUPID!" He smiled and laughed as he held her tighter, "No one saw or even cared, dear.Except for the waiter who was instantly corrected when I popped him one." She gave him a look. He blinked and grinned, ".BUT um erm.he deserved it?" Seifer gave a pleading face that no one had seen. Selphie took one glance at him and mostly laughed, part cried. Finally, she stopped and wiped her tears. She blinked as she looked behind him. "Oh. My. God."  
  
He sighed and against his will, turned around. "HEY, GUYS! WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING MOONING TODAY, HUH?!" Irvine waved from the middle of a line of white asses in a row. Each ass cheek said something different. All in all, they said, "Be sure to use a rubber when fucking!" Seifer smacked his forehead and turned while Selphie just blinked and looked on oddly. "How can they write so well on their asses? Do they use a mirror or something?" He looked at her in dismay. She looked at him and grinned, "I bet they wrote on each OTHERS asses." "Okay, that's enough." He spoke quickly and pulled her away into an alley. She vaguely protested, "BUT I WANNA ASK THEM!"  
  
Seifer sighed, "WE CAN ASK LATER!"  
  
"But."  
  
"NO!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Eventually, Seifer found himself married and still loving it. The last we saw of the two was them on a dance floor at an old club, holding two wine glasses. Seifer had his daughter on his shoulders and Selphie had their son. Sometimes, the two had their moments that ended with fourteen cakes and twisted metal (Selphie likes to cook when she's angry and Seifer just likes to.hit.things...). But they lived happily ever after anyway.  
  
~*~*~  
  
THE END ( 


End file.
